Warning - This post is mostly a rant.
Have you ever had that thing where you go your whole life and never hear a phrase but then suddenly it’s everywhere? For example, I heard the word “jelly”, as in “she’s just jelly cuz you look better than her”, twice in one week. Now yes, this just be the new word of the month like “bling” and “jiggy” but then I heard something else, “guess we know who wears the pants in that relationship”. Really people? Are we still saying that? The first time I heard it (as an adult) I wrote off the person as someone who hasn’t had or doesn’t know the meaning of a true partnership. But then I heard it again, and again. And one was even directed at my husband - inferring that I was the boss of him! I was flabbergasted! I don’t want to turn this into an essay in the defense of my marriage, but it really made me mad. This is my second marriage, meaning that I have a marriage to compare it to, so I KNOW that this is a good one (or at the very minimum better than the last one). Steve jokes when I thank him for little things that he should thank my ex for setting the bar so low. But that’s exactly it, when you’ve been in a bad relationship you really appreciate the good ones.
After the initial shock of hearing that phrase towards *my* relationship, I decided to take a reasonable approach, take a step back and try to deduce exactly why someone would say that about MY relationship. This is what I came up with - they’re assholes! *Deep Breath* I gave it another try.
I’m a planner. With as much as I have on my plate, I have to be or else my world and my anxiety would be a great big cluster f*k. Steve is a go with the flow kinda guy. The soonest he’d even consider making plans for this weekend would be this Thursday. I have a calendar and we’re booked till March. Could the reason someone would apply this archaic phrase to us be because I’m organized?
Furthermore, and correct me if I’m wrong, but doesn’t that phrase imply that the other person wears something other than pants? So what? What year is this? What the hell does clothing have to do with anything in 2012? Augh! I’m having a really hard time wrapping my head around this.
In our home, our sons paint their nails and play football. We sing along to the radio and paint tchotchkes. I work with power tools while Steve cooks dinner. I do homework with one kid while Steve reads with the other. And we both do all the same jobs while wearing jeans and chucks.
I’m not sure why I’ve let this get under my skin. Maybe it’s because of how proud I am to finally have a true partner and hearing this ignorant phrase flung towards us feels like a slap in the face. Maybe it’s because I bundle this phrase with other stupid things that bullies like to throw. In the end it’s not really worth my time and I know Karma will give those people exactly what they deserve, but to quote a friend of mine “I wish Karma would send me a text message saying “Ha! I got that bitch” just for a little piece of mind.
*END OF RANT*
On a lighter note, I got “paid” for my first “order” of resin magnets, and it was delicious! I made 15 magnets for someone to give out as gifts to co-workers and was paid in lunch. Hooray! Totally even trade.
I also made some really cool necklaces for my step-daughter. I wrapped them all up and shipped them to Arkansas… and didn’t take one picture. Dang! There goes my blogger of the year award.
Well everyone, have a fantastic rest of December and Happy Solstice, etc.!

I am totally with you. Yeah, I wear the pants in the family...because Dave isn't around enough to wear them! :) But really, I too am the planner, because I have to be (someone has to be), while Dave is totally go with the flow...although he's getting better, because he has to. Thanks for writing this!
ReplyDeleteThanks Lata! It's good to know I'm not the only one wearing the... skorts?
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